if she continues to be honest with herself she can see the signs that led up to the incident with baylor; can pinpoint the exact moment her morals packed their bags and ran back home to atlanta. more than just her white whale, stroh became the killer of her conscience. if that man could commit atrocities without a shred of remorse, then really what was the point in good, honest people trying to uphold moral code?  she could feel the bile rise at the mere thought of him but it was more comforting than she’d care to admit.  if she could continue to be sickened by him then she could blame him for this whole bastardisation of herself. blame him for her recklessness, for the corrupt man pawing at her still covered tits as his cock rubbed at her g-spot with every brutal thrust. god knows she’s tried. she’s spent the last seven years of her life facing down the worst of the worst that’s made her question her own humanity on more than one occasion, trying her hardest to right all of the wrongs that were never her responsibility to begin with. she thinks maybe if she didn’t care so much that it would be easier and after stroh there’s a new sense of apathy that resonates within her. it’s why she’s let her guard down, why she’s letting a self-confessed murderer fuck her because she’d rather have the feeling of disgust than feel nothing at all. [x]

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